My Rants

Sunday, December 21, 2008 - :

Had a soccer routine yesterday with Kienkiat & Marcus. Jeydee was suppose to come, but he fell asleep upon reaching his house. -.- Lols. So.. at first we sat down there and looked at the others played cause we didn't had enough people. Thought of going to zhenghua cc as there was another court there, but who knows its locked. Went back in the end to play. Even though there was only the three of us, i still enjoyed playing soccer with them both at night. It kindof calms me down from my busy life. And its hard to get all of the friends to play street soccer together so its absolutely shiok. Hahs. Will be back into soccer for sure as my knee is slowly recovering, can't wait to be in our team once again![: Yeah.. so its gonna be my last day in singapore caused i'll be going overseas to enjoy the remaining days of the holiday. & will be spending my Christmas there, hahahs.
So wishing everyone a Merry Christmas in advance!:D

The sun rose @ 7:05 PM

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 - :

Today was heart-warming for me after seeing the concerns you guys gave.
Thanks bros![:
Was jio-ed out to lan at around 2.30 so decide to go as i didn't wanna get stucked at home. I was late cause' i didn't notice the time. So rushed down to timah to look for them. idk but seeing them made my day i guess, at least i knew i was'nt alone. hahs
Dota, Cs was fun with them always. All the shouting just kept my mind and heart occupied. Went to kfc to eat after that while chatting and joking as usual. I can't imagine my life without them, its really gonna suck. Its time to get back to handling my life & getting it back on track. Its not time for me to breakdown anymore, because i know i'm not just doing this for myself.. but as well for you guys. :D

it would never happen i guess.

The sun rose @ 3:41 AM

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 - :

Woke up feeling the aches everywhere on my body, scrambling thru' imeem listening to this particular song. I just don't know why this song still kept me so attracted after listening to it a million times. Its a song written by an Unknown artist & the title is i'll try. I guess its really writting out what i was feeling always.

Oh Oh yeah yeah
Gonna miss you,, gonna miss you
I guess It wasn't meant to be, no forever no you and me
I wish it didn't have to be this way,
But I know its better off this way, though its hard for me to say
That to us in a year all we'll be is a memory,
I was so close but then so far away,
Tried to get your love but I guess it wasn't meant to be now its good bye
I'll try not to think about you,
I'll try to live my life without you,
I'll try to ease the pain
But girl, I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss you
I'll try to make it on my own
I'll try not to call your phone
I'll try to let you go but girl
I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss you
You, gonna miss you baby, gonna miss you baby
I thought love was on my side,
never thought that you and
I would ever break up now and wake up in the morning to nothing but to me myself and I.
Would find it hard to fall in love again,
cause my heart just wont give in,
its hard to know I have to start again,
I was so close but then so far away.
Tried to get your love, but I guess it wasn't meant to be now its goodbye
I'll try not to think about you,
I'll try to live my life without you,
I'll try to ease the pain
But girl, I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss you.
I'll try to make it on my own
I'll try not to call your phone
I'll try to let you go but girl
I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss you.
You, ow yeah
No no more happy ever after, no more joy or laughter, no more mine forever oh
And if they didn't ask for us to take I thought the love we had was forever.
I guess it wasn't meant to be now its goodbye yeah..
I'll try not to think about you,
I'll try to live my life without you,
I'll try to ease the pain
But girl, I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss you babe.
I'll try to make it on my own
I'll try not to call your phone
I'll try to let you go but girl
I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss I'm gonna miss you..
I'm gonna miss you Gonna miss. gonna miss, gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you Gonna miss you babe
I'm gonna miss you I'm gonna miss,
I'm gonna miss,
I'm gonna miss you.

Sometimes, i really don't know what to do.
& i don't understand why.
Why does it still affects me even though its been a year.
What else can i expect from you?
I just hope to be an ordinary guy, which can be loved as much as i do love you.

The sun rose @ 7:32 PM

Sunday, December 14, 2008 - :

so after last night of ton-ing.
Was woken up by Joel&Kienkiat since they were making a hell lots of noise at my house. They came over for the night and we did our usual stuff. Talk about problems, life, girl[ the fav. subject b/w 3 of us ]. Saw them both played with my brother; laughing non-stop over hiliarous stuffs. My brother sure do love them a lot compared to me. Cause' i always ill-treat him thats why. Lols.
Waited for Jd to come over to my house before setting off to JurongPoint to look for Jack. He said Alfreda wanted to go out with us so went to look for her lorhs. Woah, the thing with JurongPoint now is that its super big. I really mean huge. Packed with people, everywhere you go you'll just feel squeezy. Kindof uncomfortable to walk with such crowds at times. So decided to catch a movie as we had predicted. Watched The Day The Earth Stood Still & the only question i wanted to ask after the movie was, when did the Earth Stood Still? Lols. I knew what the movie was trying to tell or project but it did'nt seemed to have done what it supposed to do. As in i really felt that the movie was just a wasted trip. Hahs. Thats my opinion. So.. went home after that.

The sun rose @ 6:41 AM

Friday, December 12, 2008 - :

Been stucked at home once again. Hahs, i wonder how i have been spending my days this whole two months of holidays. Will be going to taiwan in another two weeks time & would school holidays would be over by the time when i come back from my trip. Still have a lot of revise but had been lazy till now, so i guess i would study only on the last week of my holiday. I'm always a last minute person. so too bad for my studies, i ain't want you now. :D Lols. Hope to arrange a time where brothers can meet up and go out before my trip since everyone is busy with their own stuff nowadays. Even Joel & Kienkiat's comp broke down and now it has really become only me & my game. But nvm larhs, hope they start studying soon lorhs. If not future goneeee liao. Lol.
Can't wait till my motivation for studying comes. By then, i'll never be free already.[;

The sun rose @ 2:47 AM

Tuesday, December 9, 2008 - :

Woke up for my day.
Received a call from kienkiat asking if he could come my house before training starts.
So in the end he creep into my house without me even noticing. maybe my mind was really that occupied nowadays that i hardly give any concern to the surroundings. Lols. This few days so coooold, shivering thru' my morning. Later accompained him to the KFC at Greenrigde Shopping Mall. I ate shrooms burger, just that craving to have one. Went for training as usual, i swear that today's training was super pissing off. Seriously i just dont get it why cant people just listen, i just thought that it was right, why did you fken show your attitdude. &idc also. i just hope that you'll start to listen and be a better player, i know you can and i know you would.
Yeah.. back to soccer, hah as usual my knee felt that pain again in training. But this time, i wanted to complete the training so badly, i played with the pain. i know its the only way out for me- towards any perspective of my life. I need soccer, & i want it so badly. I just wished that my effort would not go to vain.
Mummy bought FerreroRocher, my fav. pastime chocolate.
Had'nt been eating it in such a long time.
They said chocolates have andophine that can make someone happy.
So i guess i shall eat it whenever i feel down and blue.
For now, my life would just strive on for the goals i have in life.
Thanks mum once again for that choco. ^^

The sun rose @ 4:17 AM

Thursday, December 4, 2008 - :

FUCK; this bullshit. Its just only past 1 and so many things have happen. Why?! Why cant you just think & get motivated to go to work and be a normal dad. At least you have mummy supporting you, you have us supporting you. Ain't that enough? Ain't the love mummy giving you feel motivated to stop thinking about those negative stuffs and procceed forward to support this family? Why do you always look down on yourself, feeling that your business would fail every now & then. Why can't you think of the family that is always so worried whenever you feel like this. Is not as if we all left you and dont care about you already right? Its like why would you whine and complain so fucking much when you know not only you have problems in this family dad, not only you. I'm here fucking trying to get my life back on path so that i could stand up once again w/o even telling you guys about my stuffs.Its simply because i aint want you guys to worry about me. But why in the end, you made me so angry about you. I can't understand why, look at my leg? Its not fucking recovering and i'm so fucking piss off with my life now. I fail in my studies, sports and what next? Am i gonna fail in my family as well? I'm trying to numb myself and hope that everything would change after every night before sleeping. Waking up trying to feel new, cant you see that not only you have problems? Why bring it or blame it on us? We didn't do anything wrong towards you. Fucking; disappointed.

I'm sick and tired of everything, everything.
I ain't wanna care anymore.
Fuck; this bullshit.
_l_

The sun rose @ 9:13 PM