My Rants

Monday, October 29, 2007 - :

waiting for dear's call now, how badly i wished she would call. ):

was busy just now when dear called mi in the morning, so didnt have the time to talk to her. D: wo zhen de hen xiang nian ni.

"sorry dear, i neglected you."

really hope you would understand.

iloveyou.

The sun rose @ 7:49 AM

Thursday, October 25, 2007 - :

thank you for helping me change my blogskin. (:

appreciated it. niiaye. :D

came back home right after school today. actually wanted to spent my time with you de but in the end you had your things to attend.[or maybe its just because you wanted to avoid me?] i don't know. cried in school today again, ignorance hurts awfully much. X(

just woke up from sleeping, was exhausted this few days with those events in school. how i wish i could sleep for the entire day. my body is fine but what hurts me so badly was still my heart.

had a call from you at about 5.

dear, thank you.

"i need some time alone, to think about our future. to think about what am i going to do in order to be a whole new me with the most love to give to you."

i'll tell you when i sort everything out.


6 more days.

The sun rose @ 2:12 AM

Tuesday, October 23, 2007 - :

i miss you. D:

The sun rose @ 5:27 AM

Wednesday, October 17, 2007 - :

i'm starting to feel more secured with our relationship again lerhhs. :D

我爱你。

The sun rose @ 6:59 AM

- :

spent the whole of today at com lab to do the post exams activities. i went to read dear's blog on last weeks post. thn i realised how sweet we were the last week. its hurting to see how much our relationship is changing. its not the change of the amt of love we have fer each other, but the change of attitude fer this relationship. i realised after one night of reflecting, i became more doubtfull of alot of things which i should not even doubt. first, the love you have fer mi. second, the you which had change or not and lastly, can we really last. today, i realised its not to late if both of us still put in effort to maintain this relationship. i realise i still love you, and i care equally much fer you. i realised i cant lose you.

dear, you rmber my 3 birthday wishes you gave me on my birthday? i'm using one of it now. and that wish is, can we start afresh? be as loving as how we can be. no matter whether my wish is going to come true anot, i'll do my best to show my love for you. :D

dear, wo hai shi hen ai ni.

The sun rose @ 2:27 AM

Tuesday, October 16, 2007 - :

never talk to dear at all today. was like a silent play :( the only thing we said to each other was bye. hais, this feeling totally suck. hate it alot. i was surpose to have a interclass soccer match after sch derhs, but because of the rain, it was postpond. and because of the postpond game, i did not send her home today. it feels really weird. lost to be exact. even though i tried to be happy, it still cant work. even though our relationship seems to be okay, it still hurts inside whenever i think of it. maybe what i really need is an answer. i know i would be okay after some time, but it still takes that period of time which i'm afraid would affect our relationship. dear, 我很想你。 D: i think what i need most now is your understanding and your patience.

can we still be like how we used to be ?

The sun rose @ 1:19 AM

Monday, October 15, 2007 - :

i don't know what to say, i just wish we're going to be fine.

went lot one happily to look for dear. zhen de zhen de hao xiang ta. and finally can get to see her lerhs. :D i dunno why but this morning i just kept thinking of what will happen if there is any quarrel in the furture. what will i do ? this kept running through my mind and i don't know why. but now i know why did it ran thru' my mind for the whole morning.

met dear at yellow coz she was buyin present fer her louis gorr. actually planned to watch resident evil but nid ic. lols. jiu decided to go play ghost squad, i was better than her today and so she stopped playing and left me playin by myself. why did you do that? aren't we suppose to win it together? did not wanna quarrel with her so i kept quiet, veri quiet. so after that she went to watch a guy play parapara and said she wanted to go home. but in the end went back to play ghost squad. this time i reali don't know what cause her to be so pissed off ? i reali did play my best but you just seems to be letting me win. and so whats the purpose fer playin on? and if u wanna know why i hit the mines one stage 3, i still have one full bar of life and i still can win that mine thing at the end, coz thats the place there the mines are nearer so easier to make it stop. i did everything fer a purpose, and in the end u're just so pissed off again and hit the mines urself to kill ur life. i was angry and i reali didnt wanna continue. why would such a thing happen? hais.

you, decided to leave mi again for the second time. did you ever notice how hurt i was? seeing you just walk off because u're pissed off. i chased after you. the more u know i was behind, the faster u ran. why cant we just settle it peacefully. a disput because of a game. i sat at the stairs infront of ur condo, watching you walk in, slam the gate and continue walkin in. i sat down there, tearing. just hoping you would come back but you didnt. i called ur hse, but ur maid said u aint home yet. u know how worry i was? i walk into the condo, lookin fer u, everywhere. i sweat and i felt like i was going to faint soon, but still i only have u running thru my mind. my hearts hurts so badly and the healer of it isn't there. what esle could i do? feeling so defeated, i could only walk home. put a smile on my face so that my parents wont be worry of my problems. but so? it still hurts inside.

dear, can you stop ignoring me. D:




The sun rose @ 1:57 AM

Sunday, October 7, 2007 - :

hais, today was a mess. dear did call me this morning, and whatever we sae nearly coz us to quarrel. i'm not kidding, every sentence was a poteintial for us to quarrel. i don't know why, its seems that some how, i don't know her anymore. its like, i tried veri hard to listen to what she said and tried to reply what i heard. but it just came out, wrong. daamn !! whats wrong with me? i'm still me but i don't know what to do, like i used to do. had to end the conversation with her cause i had to go to eat. suddenly, i felt as if i went lucky then. if we continue tokin, we'll end up quarrelling. ):

as usual i met her up, i walk passed her and i didnt see her. wad was i thinking about? i don't know, but its seriously huge that i can even missed seeing her. god !! went to play arcade then, was okay but still feel that weirdness, which i've nvr felt before. its seems that what we used to play was not as fun as that time lerhs. hais. adn ya, she did told me about my understanding problem. i don't know how to explain of course. do i reali don't know her anymore or am i just having a big listening problem? dear, i've been feeling very weird, its like that bland feeling came again. i know i still love you, but its just seems that you hate whatever i do. frustrated of what i said. D:

you called. i stop playing my game, because i wanna tok to you. but it just went wrong again. i'm starting to lose it. its hurting terrible inside and i don't know how to help it.

D:

The sun rose @ 4:45 AM

Saturday, October 6, 2007 - :

today guai guai de. after smth that happen in lot one, i felt that i've lost her once again. was moody of course. hais, even though in the end like okay lerhs, still reflecting on that incident.

maybe what i did made you insercure.

The sun rose @ 4:42 AM

Friday, October 5, 2007 - :

erm, today nbr pei dear that much as compared to the previous day. she was tired so went home and rest. so ask kk and jd wanna come my hse play sf anot. in the end they came lor. realised so long nvr pei them lerhhs. sorry guys. anw, had fun seeing jd play sf like shasha one. lols

The sun rose @ 4:40 AM

Thursday, October 4, 2007 - :

went lot 1 after sch, watch detectice C+. dear so scare, shagua. lols. you wo zai, shen me hao pa de? (: the show not bad lar, juz that the ending very stupid. =.=

The sun rose @ 4:38 AM

Wednesday, October 3, 2007 - :

dear came my house again. some how she feels like its weird coming, but its okay larhhs. wont da rao my family de, they so happy when u come lor. :X hahs

The sun rose @ 4:37 AM

Tuesday, October 2, 2007 - :

dear came my hse today to watch zhuan jiao yu dao ai. she loves the pai gu mai here. lols. so next time sure wanna come more often de (: hahs. dear, the disc here wor, come watch hor. :P

The sun rose @ 4:34 AM

Monday, October 1, 2007 - :

11th MONTH !!

yeah man !! 336 days lerhhs. 30 days more to our aniversary, one year !! hehs; cant wait till thn. hahs. anw, guess wad dear bought fer mi? hmns; i guess hai shi bu yao gen ni men jiang ba. xP thanks dear, iloveyou (:

jarrold-

ps; sorry fer not preparing anithing this month, have to save everything fer the last ! (: and even though i didnt prepare it this month, i still love you. x33

The sun rose @ 3:56 AM