My Rants

Monday, April 30, 2007 - :

Chinese test todae ! altough quite confident but still a little worry narhhs ..
been preparing since the end of CA1 and reali hope that i can show to my class , i'm not a useless guy , i needa concentrate on my studies thats all . haiiz , even though having some concentration problems , still hope i can wake up in time and get good results ..

i'm living in a stress and tired life , i've more than juz studies to handle .
but i'm willing to try to ferget , coz that sad memory shuld not be there .
i do hate my life , but there is nothing i can do with it . its my time to wake up frm all of this ler !! i muz , i MUZ ...

'' 'waking up' its difficult , coz u would feel lazy . but as long as u tried to , one day , u would 'wake up' , from ur nightmares . " - jarrold

The sun rose @ 4:59 AM

Friday, April 27, 2007 - :

went to singapore's sports sch today fer a friendly match , even tough lose but still quite happi , coz we noe that they were strong and maintaining 1-0 is a gd gd score. had dinner with kk at kfc and he stole my tie away! thn i eat drumstick =x

reached home about 7.45 like that , stepped into the hse and there goes my phone , jo , called mi ..[was stinkin but still ans the phone]
enjoyed the first part of it but i'm sorry jo that i have to make the ending tough fer u to handle . but i think its worth it . yeah of course , started with jun qing again , as usual talking bout him and although i was tryin to be strong , u shuld noe yeah . its juz 3 weeks and i may have fade that feeling fer u but its still there . alittle . but still went into the condition of begin someone u can talk u , i tried to advice u coz i noe u can do it , will power is all wad u lack .. dun sae u tried , dun sae u cant , coz u are not . u are running away . even though i noe wad i told u wont be heard by u , i still gave it a shot , have more faith in urself . hearing her cry , it broke my heart and i didnt wan that to happen .. haiiz , so sorry if i ruined ur day , but i dun wann u to ruin ur life .. understand ? u got to move on ,. stayin there in that same spot wount bring u ani where . ur pain and misery would be there , unless its overcome .. i dun reali believe in God , but i reali hope that , he would ans ur prayers and be there whn u need him so so so badly ..

jarrold

The sun rose @ 7:28 AM

Thursday, April 26, 2007 - :

todae , quite boring yeah ,
same old thing , laughin & smiling ,
untill smth happen to jo ,
she fell off the chair . was of course worried how she is , but didnt ask untill 2 hrs later ..
guess wad was i thinking ?
i was thinkin wad was i to her that i muz go and concern , i was afraid i was nth ..
didnt have to courage to even go up and ask , wad a coward i was ? yeah .
starting to talk to her like a fren like last time , but still . smth is in between me and her and i dunno wad , i reali wish to know wads that blocking , and wanna get rid of it , coz its hurting ..

anw , got a talk in assembly which was about ,who helped u ?
i was thinking of course , and the first thing to mi was her .
yeah , she did hlp mi in my thinking ,and tryin to hlp others in my words , and i reali owe her a sincere thank you .
hees , xD



The sun rose @ 7:14 AM

Friday, April 20, 2007 - :

hees xD yesterdae talk on the phone with jo.
feels like last time whn she always tell mi about him.
was thinkin yesterdae , are my feelings fadded away ler ?
coz whn she spoke to mi , i dun feel hurt animore ..
juz treated her like someone hu nids to tell mi smth .
like b4 , felt a great sense of relieve , and was happi too ..
hahas , later goin to plae soccer with Jd and kk they all ,
goin to spent quality time with thm man ! long time nvr so so so so
happi ler ! xP
okay will end here liao ,
Jarrold

The sun rose @ 5:57 PM

- :

hmns ; i've spend 2 weeks without u in my life ..
2 weeks of suffering and todae . i was finally cheered up ..
i starting to get used to the single man i used to be ..
the guy which needs everyone ..
i finally noe i'm not lonely ..
i still have everyone .. xD

todae , felt that i've helped in smth veri impt .
was cheered up by that xP
JieLin meii & jo finally overcame their problems in their communication ..
seeing them both smile was a great relieve .. xD

but i've smth to tell u two .
first , starting with JieLin meii ,
meii , u have to put more trust in jo ,
trust that she would always be ur best fren
dun doubt her too much, but whn u do ,
ask her , dun be afraid she would shut u ..
trust that she would always listen to u ,
kor believe that she would derhh ,
maintain ur frenship , it doesnt come as easy as it seems ,
cherish it .. dun doubt it

secondly , jo ;
listen to her if she needs, u should noe whn to listen ,
coz she is ur best fren , u noe her well , and she noes u well too
dun take advantage of her trust , make her trust u more ,
u can do it . u can .. spend quality time with her , quantity doesnt matter
try and maintain ur frenship , becoz this doesnt come this easily as well
i trust that u both do reali care fer each other ,

JIAYOUS !

and fer the both of ieu ;
cherish wads beside u,
cherish wad u can cherish now , but not regretting on wad u have done wrongly or feel ani guilt to ani one whn they leave u , simply becoz , it doesnt concern u animore, he or she no longer matters or affects u .Give in whn its time , say it with the love u have fer ur best fren , say it whn u mean it , u do not , do not have to
even care about someone who doesnt cares fer u . its not worth it .. :D
jiayous !
i reali dun wanna see that day that both of u wont end ur frenship bcoz of things that doesnt affect u two at all ..

ending here ,
Jarrold

The sun rose @ 6:09 AM

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 - :

ahh haa ! had a tiring day todae siia, go soccer training , even though tried,felt that it was worth while , so so long nvr train liao lorh !! =<

erm , second thing ..
Kiat , Jack and Jey . they seems to have lots of prblem this week yeah ?
worry fer thm . haiiz , hope they would be fine . cheer up guys ! they would be back with u all de , juz mantain ur love fer thm ! Jiayous wor !

thirdly , had few good talks with lots of my meii , hees , thks everyone fer cheering up ! xiexie ni men ! kor mei shi ler ! xDD

and last thing of todae , jo ar jo , we waiting fer u to come back to the B.famili leii !
everyone is here except u siia ! whn u comin back huh ? lols xD hope u come back soon and we all can have the fun times all of us had . hui lai BAHS ! red carpet oso put there nicenice fer u liao lor .. xP


The sun rose @ 6:22 AM

Monday, April 16, 2007 - :

hey guys ! i have thinked thru' and noe wad to do lerhhs !
so so so happy yeah !
i have decided to let my feelings fer u fade away , and stay there fer u as a fren .xD

wad comes to me that make mi came to this ? my meiis !

Firstly , i wanna thanks JieLin meii fer having a talk to mi that lasted fer almost 1hrs and 15mins . reali had a fight with my emotions thn but after all , didnt make ani decision on anithing , but reali enjoy sayin everything out . hees xP

Thn later went to Lot 1 study , thought of wad JieLin told mi and thn out of the blue , Heidy meii smsed mi sayin that Jolene told her about the broke up , so talk to her and ask her how is her lor . Heidy meii said that she was doin fine and was enjoyin her life now . Heidy meii sae that she offered her a bubble gum thn whn she wanna blow it up but cant that time beri cute . i was imagining of course ! hees . too bad i missed it . siian ! lols . thn told Heidy meii that if she was happy thn i contented ler :D so we started to sms each other and after that , i was sure that i muz , regardless of wad , try my best to fade that feeling fer her . coz it would hlp both of us oso , told myself that and finally my heart agrees with it ..
wo xiang tong ler ! jo ; we could still be frens . hehes .

tml goin to watch mr bean hoildays and i'm sure the Jarrold Lim now can laugh out now like wad he does last time ! xDD HAHAS !
end here ler , go STUDY ! chiong ar !

Jarrold`

The sun rose @ 3:53 AM

Friday, April 13, 2007 - :

read her blog this morning , nth to feel but sadness.
she has the determination finally to ferget about him , yet i treated her like this.after reading her blog,i'm feeling reali like a bastard . yupp ? i cant live without her , it would feel different , its showing ler .. the pain without her , the wans and wans i wanna be with her , becoz she is showing the effort but i chase her off juz like that , i miss her alot .and frm today onwards . Jarrold Lim can oni spent time with her as her fren.a fren only ! i hate myself . fer nt cherishing her enuff but my love fer her would be still there . waiting fer that one day that maybe she would come and sae , i love u too .thats the only words i wnna heard .i feel like a sinner , i done too much hurt to her .. i can cry all day , think of her all the time . feeling regretfull, but nth can bring her back to mi except the love between us , i reali have no mood to do anithing but cry all out, everytime i think about her .short period of pain is better that a long period one , but my short pain would almost last the rest of my life , why cant u juz give everyone a chance .. she broke my heart deeply whn she said she doesnt love mi animore .. i wanna be happy but i simply cant , i'm cryin fer her , first time i'm cryin fer someone and i noe that if i dun win her back , i would have no point living in this world , i ...

there is nth i can do but wait now , wait fer that day that would overcome her anger to mi into love , its takes only 1 week to bring us frm that perfect couple to this terrible state , no. it oni takes 1 msg , i'm tired of cryin , cryin fer the past week , i tired of it ler. but i cant control it , coz everytime i think of wads goin to happen to mi without u is simply pain .

to jo ;
i read ur blog with tears in my eyes , with pain in my heart ..
i read ur blog with the feelin of leaving ,
u do wan mi to ferget u , but i cant ..
even if u disappear , i would still have that feeling .
u are my heart .. u brought happiness to mi
and u are takin it away ..i would be here , waiting ..


A hundrend days have made me older , since the last time that i saw ur pretty face.
A thousand lies have made me colder and I don't think I can look at this the same.
But all the miles that separate,They disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face.
I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight, there's only you and me.

The miles just keep rolling, as the people leave their way to say hello.
I've heard this life is overrated, but I hope that it gets better as we go.
I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight girl, it's only you and me.

Everything I know and anywhere I go.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love.
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love.

I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight girl, it's only you and me.

[I'm all alone]

The sun rose @ 5:34 PM

- :

Friday 13th .
my whole week was like living in hell ..
all bcoz of one simple msg that hurt her so much..
till she dun love mi lik before animore..
untill i dunno wad to do fer the first time..
i've tried my best in persuading her coming back to mi..
but its no use, i regretted..

It all started on Mon , i can rember every detail
we started a quarrel..
i apologise to her wanting to stop it..
but she repli mi with those hurting words..
and i repli her with it too..
but mine was , simply unforgivable..
i did regrett rite after the msg was sent..
but my anger overflow my love..
untill i regretted..
frm the nightmare i was going to face..
it was after all, a scary wan..
as expected she was angry too..
tryin to avoid mi on the veri next day..
i smsed her to apologise but it was useless..
i try to tok to her..
but it was oso useless..
untill tues, i had a long tok with her..
she asked : why muz i forgive u ?
i said : becoz u still love me yeah ?
posted her a question whter she still love mi anot .
but she didnt noe how to repli ..
i was sad , but i cant show .
i was in front of her and i dun like to show her my sadness
gave her time to think about it thn thur , she finally forgive mi

but whn i told her that i still love her no matter wad .
she gave mi that pain feeling..
she said that the feeling was different..
i was shocked .and i noe and expected wad was goin to happen..
juz prayin that it would be over soon..
she smsed mi : wo men hai shi break bah . i saw this sentence and didnt wanna continue readin ler ..
i did actualli replied her . but obviously tryin to be strong ..

its was fine untill -
the sadness was defeatin my strong !
i cant take it animore , thus .. gaining all the hope frm myself even though i noe the odds was 99% to 1% , but i have to try . she is the wan i love so much . i muz , i told myself . so tok to her standing . it was though tryin to persuade , i tried to . but failed . in the end , she had to go . haiiz - God , why dun u give her and mi a chance .

this are my last words fer her ;
i've tried my veri best to persuade u to come back to me , juz once. to fulfil my promise , to care for u , to treat u well , to feel sad together with u , but it seems like all i've done seems like nth to u . i may seem happi whn i'm with u ,but inside, the pain cant be explain, the hope i've cant be told . i only hope that God can help us togehter , but it all seems like its not goin to happen anymore . 1st time we break ,i thought u shown not enuff care fer mi, 2nd time was becoz of him, 3rd was u aint wan mi to tolerate anithing , 4th was becoz of my anger . all 3times we patch , i didnt cherish u . whn i was determin adn comfirm that my love fer u is real , u walked away frm my life , yet i still tot it was my fault . i dunno how can love disappear in 4days, how can it happen ? i aint wanna believe coz i noe jo , still will have feelings de , i'm the one hu noes her , so i'm willing to try , but she is not willing to accept . she make mi love her so much. she is unforgettable in my heart , yet she wans mi to ferget her . i cant , but i muz? but i still cant .
[I BELIEVE YOU] is the book that shown me wad true love can do , but whn i tried ,i failed . i'm a failure , coz i cant even make the girl i love most to love mi whn i needed her most. i wann to make her the happiest person in her life , i told her that on our 1000day , i would give her a bottle of stars . i would love her as much as i could , i cant bear to leave her and she is , is that wad first love does to everyone ? hurt everyone ? i'm hurt , yes i'm, but she seems okay?
isit becoz i hurt her too much ? i juz need that once , once would be enuff , but she doesnt give it to mi , i need her in my life .on Fri the 13th , this is my worst nightmare , my love have go , i'm here without you - Jarrold


Once , there was a person i consoled which let mi learned how to cherish a ppl bcoz she didnt cherish her ex - and i did the same as wad she have done to nvr cherish my ex - she is u , and u are her .

i noe i hurt u deeply , but there us nth i can do now but to be guilty fer the whole of my life , i would wait .. becoz i noe true love doesnt go away in 4days , i'm willin to be the last wan in ur list , coz , at least i have the chance to fight my way back to the top . to that position that i wanna be in u .

fer now , i juz wnna put aside everythin and be the closest of fren with u and wait fer that one day , that a miricle would happen ..

and thks fer everything u gave mi these months !

Jarrold

ps : sincerly thanks my bros fer supportin in mi , no matter wad i decide , u all would still be there , sharing my difficulties . THANKS !

The sun rose @ 7:35 AM

Saturday, April 7, 2007 - :

hmns ; back to postin again ,
7 april 07

todae woke up at 6.45 ! lols, dunno why cant slp
thn jiu on com and plae .
no one on9 de . damn siian
thn jiu off com go read I BELEIVE U .written by low kay hwa
Joel wanna read and plus he addicted ler but i nvr lend him
hehex . alittle selfish but dun care larhhs . i wanna read de ! =D
yup . kill time lor . thn tired go slp again . about 1 plus thn wake up .
same ddear's msg thn repli . thn slp again . lols
ask her why i so tired , dunno why
she told mi , coz i yesterdae slp late , and todae wake up early so will feel tired
thn sae its a cycle . lols . of course i noe but still agree with her . xD
even though can sms each other , but still will miss her some time .
haiiz . how i wish i can see her now . MONDAY FASTER COME LARH
hahas

Jarrold~


The sun rose @ 6:10 AM

Sunday, April 1, 2007 - :

*1st "April.07

hmns ; firstly , wanna tell the whole world that mi and ddear 5th month aniversary yesterdae , soo happy ! [cant wait fer 6th ! ] x]

anw , she gave mi and key chain which was wonderful , i loved it veri much =P
thks ddear ! of course i gave her smth , key chain too [bear bear de .] she told mi that she wannted to buy the same thing that i gave her lor . lols . so qiao , but in the end saw a cuter one . hmns ; hope ddear love that key chain i gave her xP

ohya , back to todae .. went out with ZhengKai , Jd , KienKiat , Shuyi , and Eugene .. heng arh , Jack nvr go . if nt you yao tio suan liao .. actaulli wannted to watch movie de but the timing nt rite coz later wannted to go to Queen's way look fer soccer boots , so Zk suggested to go plae xbox lor . but Shuyi will tio pang seh mah , so dunno why in the end still went there ler . sryy wor Shuyi .. hmns ; anw u are nt stoppin kk frm enjoying la , he would enjoy every momment with u de ma . haiiz , but in the end , u choose to went hme .. sad

thn later , veronica called ask him wanna go xinjuan birthdae party anot ..
of course zk would ask us . thn we sae anithing lor , so decided not to go to Queen'sWay .. nxt week bahs :)

reached there bout 3.30 , thn veronica hlped zk find 1 birthday card giv xinjuan..
guess wad was wrote on the cardd ?
IT GOES;
__________________

TO ; XIAO JUAN JUAN
u are the precious gift that God send blah blah blah[fergotten wad ler] =X
FROM ; XIAO KAI KAI

thn zk jiu sign on the card . damn funni , coz like they stead like that ..
the zk face like those wanna laugh but dun dare to laugh that type .
sibei funni la ! .

thats about it liao lor . thn after that went to KFC eat 2 piece , zk treat kk and eugene, buyers ? dunno
ask him treat mi he dun wan , nb ! =D after winning all my money .. baddie

thn eat liao went hme .

had a enjoyable day todae , anw , miss ddear oso narhhs . she call mi thn tok awhile niia , haiiz .

hope she can call nw .
9.31

jarrold

The sun rose @ 6:13 AM