this few days have been a suffering for me. i dont know why am i writting this down onto my blog but i guess it will make me feel better. yea by now everyone should think that i am happy but in fact. i'm not at all. ): i cant seem to get any better even though i may want to get happy so badly. i still have alot of things that i want to tell Jolene. but seeing her so happy with her life without me makes me seriously feel like crying. its not that she cause everything, its just that i fell way in love with her, and i dont know how to stop it. its so painful ! i wanna keep everything to myself, my feelings for her to just myself but i cant. i need someone to listen to me. im in trouble, and its causing so much pain in me. all those memeories i had with her, all the times when i truly believe that she's the one for me. i love her alot. GOD ! please take away my hurtings, lend me a shoulder to cry on.