My Rants
Friday, April 13, 2007
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Friday 13th .
my whole week was like living in hell ..
all bcoz of one simple msg that hurt her so much..
till she dun love mi lik before animore..
untill i dunno wad to do fer the first time..
i've tried my best in persuading her coming back to mi..
but its no use, i regretted..
It all started on Mon , i can rember every detail
we started a quarrel..
i apologise to her wanting to stop it..
but she repli mi with those hurting words..
and i repli her with it too..
but mine was , simply unforgivable..
i did regrett rite after the msg was sent..
but my anger overflow my love..
untill i regretted..
frm the nightmare i was going to face..
it was after all, a scary wan..
as expected she was angry too..
tryin to avoid mi on the veri next day..
i smsed her to apologise but it was useless..
i try to tok to her..
but it was oso useless..
untill tues, i had a long tok with her..
she asked : why muz i forgive u ?
i said : becoz u still love me yeah ?
posted her a question whter she still love mi anot .
but she didnt noe how to repli ..
i was sad , but i cant show .
i was in front of her and i dun like to show her my sadness
gave her time to think about it thn thur , she finally forgive mi
but whn i told her that i still love her no matter wad .
she gave mi that pain feeling..
she said that the feeling was different..
i was shocked .and i noe and expected wad was goin to happen..
juz prayin that it would be over soon..
she smsed mi : wo men hai shi break bah . i saw this sentence and didnt wanna continue readin ler ..
i did actualli replied her . but obviously tryin to be strong ..
its was fine untill -
the sadness was defeatin my strong !
i cant take it animore , thus .. gaining all the hope frm myself even though i noe the odds was 99% to 1% , but i have to try . she is the wan i love so much . i muz , i told myself . so tok to her standing . it was though tryin to persuade , i tried to . but failed . in the end , she had to go . haiiz - God , why dun u give her and mi a chance .
this are my last words fer her ;
i've tried my veri best to persuade u to come back to me , juz once. to fulfil my promise , to care for u , to treat u well , to feel sad together with u , but it seems like all i've done seems like nth to u . i may seem happi whn i'm with u ,but inside, the pain cant be explain, the hope i've cant be told . i only hope that God can help us togehter , but it all seems like its not goin to happen anymore . 1st time we break ,i thought u shown not enuff care fer mi, 2nd time was becoz of him, 3rd was u aint wan mi to tolerate anithing , 4th was becoz of my anger . all 3times we patch , i didnt cherish u . whn i was determin adn comfirm that my love fer u is real , u walked away frm my life , yet i still tot it was my fault . i dunno how can love disappear in 4days, how can it happen ? i aint wanna believe coz i noe jo , still will have feelings de , i'm the one hu noes her , so i'm willing to try , but she is not willing to accept . she make mi love her so much. she is unforgettable in my heart , yet she wans mi to ferget her . i cant , but i muz? but i still cant .
[I BELIEVE YOU] is the book that shown me wad true love can do , but whn i tried ,i failed . i'm a failure , coz i cant even make the girl i love most to love mi whn i needed her most. i wann to make her the happiest person in her life , i told her that on our 1000day , i would give her a bottle of stars . i would love her as much as i could , i cant bear to leave her and she is , is that wad first love does to everyone ? hurt everyone ? i'm hurt , yes i'm, but she seems okay?
isit becoz i hurt her too much ? i juz need that once , once would be enuff , but she doesnt give it to mi , i need her in my life .on Fri the 13th , this is my worst nightmare , my love have go , i'm here without you - Jarrold
Once , there was a person i consoled which let mi learned how to cherish a ppl bcoz she didnt cherish her ex - and i did the same as wad she have done to nvr cherish my ex - she is u , and u are her .
i noe i hurt u deeply , but there us nth i can do now but to be guilty fer the whole of my life , i would wait .. becoz i noe true love doesnt go away in 4days , i'm willin to be the last wan in ur list , coz , at least i have the chance to fight my way back to the top . to that position that i wanna be in u .
fer now , i juz wnna put aside everythin and be the closest of fren with u and wait fer that one day , that a miricle would happen ..
and thks fer everything u gave mi these months !
Jarrold
ps : sincerly thanks my bros fer supportin in mi , no matter wad i decide , u all would still be there , sharing my difficulties . THANKS !
The sun rose @
7:35 AM